|
Friday, 16 January 2004
AGENT X #1
Mood:
 silly
Marvel Comics has taken the letter "X" and pretty much has made a whole new comic book universe from it.
It started with The X-Men.
Then came along X-Force,X-Factor,X-Man,Xcalibur,Xtreme X-Men,X-cetera,X-cetera,X-Cetera.
And I've been a sucker for all of them.I'm an "X" junkie,ever since I picked up that Giant Size X-Men #1 many,many yearz ago in a Marvel Universe far far away.
Yet,I've learned tha hard way that many of them are duds(Kitty Pryde-Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D comes to mind).But "Agent X" iz pretty darn entertaining.
Here's the official Marvel blurb-"Mathematically,the letter "X" stands for an unknown or variable quantity.But in the dangerous world of the modern-day gun-for-hire,it stands for Alex Hayden,the man with no past.Uninterested in the mystery of his own beginnings,Agent X is determined to take his position as the world's most deadliest,and highest paid mercenary."
The story involves Agent X trying to kill off a former superhero so his girlfriend doesn't get offed by the former superheroes ex-wife.The only problem,this once upon a time superdood-who went by the name of Fight Man,is invulnerable to pain and destruction,tho Fight Man,who's pretty done with living,let's Agent X attempt to murder him.They try everything-smashing a car into him,bathing him in a tub of acid,electriction and everything else under the sun.But they have no luck.
Agent X is a fun read,but I've gotta wonder why they went thru all the trouble to create this new Agent X character cuz in almost every way possible he's the same character as another Marvel mercenary by the name of Deadpool.Same powers,same ugly mug,same sense of humor.
Oh hell,what's another "X"character gonna hurt?
Only my wallet.
Ragz Rates It A:7.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:57 PM PST
Saturday, 3 January 2004
THE BANGLES LIVE @ THE HOUSE OF BLUES-LAS VEGAS
Mood:
 amorous
Everytime The Bangles have come to town I've missed them.Alwayz something comez up.But finally the starz lined up just right and last night I finally got to catch the Fem Fab Four live at The House Of Blues.
First off the show waz opened by four guys who call themself Ponder.Sorry,but I just don't understand normal joes who pick up guitars and think they can rock.It's not how it's to be in my lil' twisted mind.Ya gotta have something,mainly the key is that good rockers are usually made up of outcasts,people that don't quite fit into the everyday run of the mill segmant of humanity.Mayhaps a missing chromozone,or a funny lisp,or even,skinny guys who can't in no way or how get laid til they put on a Gibson Les Paul.Ponder is just so damn normal they're completely boring.They look like part time car mechanics who watch way too much ESPN and listen to too many Springsteen,Mellencamp & Seger records.Yuk.Not one offensive lick,not one feedbacking guitar nor a ugly sucker in the bunch.They can never be rockstars cuz they don't know what it's like to be ragged on,beaten up by jocks,or drink anything harder than a St.Paulie Girl.Heck,I'm just bettin' they were the ones pickin' on the guys in high school that had an earring.Yuk.They sucked.Tho the girls liked 'em.Girls have no taste.
Except if you're The Bangles.Ok,you could probably say the same about The Bangles az I did with Ponder,but if ya look past the fact that the four hot ladies haven't aged a single bit since the 80's and play hummable dance along non-offensive rock there's still something more there.Let's face it,how many chicks do you know base thier whole musical foundation on 60's pop rock.You'll hear The Byrds,The Beatles,Alex Chilton & get visions of matchstick men jingle janglin' thru thier 80's sensebilities.When most girls pick up an instrument and try to be rockers they either go the Joan Jett I'm tuff as fingernails and don't touch me there or the I'm a hippy Edie Brickell who only sings in college cafe's kinda girl.The Bangles do stand out cuz they've got that 60's sound that no other girl group has come close to.
Most of the setlist consisted of new songs off of thier recent cd "Doll Revolution",which come off so much better live than on the album.The cd sounded too restrained for me,but live it all makes much more sense.Tho they did throw in my least fave of the new album "Single By Choice"who's lyrics make me cringe but that's probably cuz I'm a guy and don't understand.
Of course all the hits were there.Thier harmonies were amazingly perfect.That's a hard thing to pull off live when ya got guys hooten an' hollerin' at them and monitors feedbacking,but they hit the notes dead on.
Of course the guys go to see the hottie Susanna Hoffs,tiny little thing with here little skirt.But the rest were just as hot in thier own way,especially bassist Michael Steele with her gothic/punkier fashion sense.But again this is the icing on a very sweet n' delicious cake.
Makes ya wanna pick up a 12 string and write some real songs.
Ragz Rates Ponder:3.0
Ragz Rates The Bangles:8.25
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 1:14 PM PST
Thursday, 1 January 2004
"THE KILLER EYE" & "FLESH FOR THE BEAST"
Mood:
 cheeky
Two moviez that make a perfect double bill o' hooters n' crap!Imagine if the writers of Penthouse Forum Letters where given a crappy camcorder & made moviez.Then you would basically get these two movies.
"The Killer Eye" is,well,about a killer eye that pops out of another dimension from a teenage boy prostitute and goes on the loose feeling up women and giving them the sexual experience of thier life.All the while the nerdy mad scientist that would rather play with his killer eye than with his hottie of a wife chases down the one eyed wonder worm with his fellow cast of bad actors.We also have to suffer thru two male characters that sit around in thier underwear and keep reminding us how stoned they are.Ok,sure this may all sound like a madcap blast of a b-movie but it's not.Very little worth seeing here,yet still better than a sharp stick in the eye.Not much tho.
"Flesh For The Beast"isn't much better but at least it tries to be.An eccentric rich guy hires a group of ghostbusters to help him calm the crazy ghosts that spooks around in his mansion.Why I don't understand cuz the ghosts are a trio of slutty chickies who strip naked,get ya off then slit your throat.Sounds like a date to me.But we soon learn there is more tho the millionaire than we originally thought.Tries to be scary but isn't,tries to be sexy and it really isn't that either.Shoulda just made it a porno flick and throw away the chincey plot.
Saves on the fast forward time and frees up the hands.
Ragz Rates "The Killer Eye" A:5
Ragz Rates "Flesh For The Beast"A:6
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 8:42 PM PST
THE STROKES/KINGS OF LEON LIVE 12/31/03
Mood:
 chillin'
I've lived in Las Vegas for almost 10 yearz now and I've only spent one New Years Eve on the infamous Strip.Everyone should experience it once,then ferget about doing it ever again cuz it's just a plain madhouse.And last night,with the threat of terrorism in the chilly air,it wazn't where I waz gunna be.
Planz for the new year festivities were comin' down to the wire so we opted to go see The Strokes right down the street from where I live at The Cox Pavilion,a small lil' auditorium usually where the local bands play.A few weeks after making that decision we learned that Adler's Appetite,Motochrist,Taime Downe & others' where also playing just five minutes away.Crap!!Not enuff money for both,and it's too late to change the plans.
Not that I don't dig The Strokes,it's just that if I had to pick I'd go for the Glamoriffic sleaze rawk show.But the die was cast.
And it wazn't a dissapointment.
First thing:The crowd.People watching iz alwayz fun at concerts cuz each band alwayz brings in thier own type.Last nights crowd waz pretty interesting.Young kids dressing like thier grandfathers did in the 60's,with thier Stonesish hairdos and jackets,ties and nerd glasses.The male population has that whole Jerry & The Pacemakers look all down pat!Which is so refreshing,funny yes,but so much better than the Fred Durst/Whigger look.
Second Thing:Having to sit thru almost two hourz of Reggae muzik before the bandz hit the stage.I firmly believe that white people really don't like reggae,they just think they do.Take away the marijuanahootchie from the reggae culture and fratboys wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Third Thing:The opening act finally started the festivities,which consisted of one lone drunk hippy chick with a fucked up keyboard and a drumstick named Regina Spector.
Sheesh.Felt like I walked into a cafe in the 90's on the set of "Singles".Alright lyrics and a good voice still couldn't dilute the overdramatic pretension of this act.
Fourth Thing:After another hour of Cindy Lauper toons over the P.A.,finally The Kings Of Leon hit the stage.They were quite impressive with thier brand of garage rock played by CCR kinda hook.They got the crowd goin' pretty good and thier songs go over much better live than on the record.Very good!
I think the last song they did(which I don't recall the name of and I'm too lazy to go look it up)waz the highlight of the whole evening.Blew my mind!
Fifth Thing:Another long wait and finally The Strokes burst out upon the stage like teenage Beatles!The girls high pitched Budokan screams filled the small place and incredibly bright strobe lights barraged our eyeballs.Thier toonz make people hop,up and down,and in a happy way.These kids came to rock,not to bludgeon each other with thier skinheads n' baseball caps."New York City Cops"waz cranked shortly before midnight,then another toon and they ended it right on the dot-10 seconds before the birth of 2004.All in all a very good n' plenty fun live band.Still missed The Pussycat n'GnR guys,but The Strokes & The Kings Of Leon proves that the future of rock n' roll is all right.
Sixth Thing:The cell phone cameras have replaced the bic lighter.Saw more of those lighting up the crowd than flames.Which is probably a good thing cuz we've all burnt our fingertips enuff partaking in the rock concert ritual.
If it wasn't for the cellphonecams I coulda swore we went back in time to 1966 than ringing in 2004!
Ragz Rates Regina Spector:3.5
Ragz Rates The Kings Of Leon:8.0
Ragz Rates The Strokes:7.5
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 7:15 PM PST
Thursday, 25 December 2003
PLUSH KING GHIDORAH
Mood:
 hug me
Man,why didn't they make thingz like this when I waz a kid?
So much giant monster stuff out there nowadayz-
and here we have just one of the cool plush "Godzilla"series critterz!
How cool is that?
I say "very cool!"
They're brought to you by the nifty folks at http://www.toyvault.com
Godzilla,King Ghidorah & Mothra are out now-coming soon-Rodan!!
Ragz Ratez It A:8.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:44 PM PST
Tuesday, 23 December 2003
BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
Mood:
 quizzical
Is it a werewolf movie?A martial arts action film?A French period piece?A romance date movie?A special effects extravaganza?A sword n' sorcery epic?
It's all of them!!
It's got it all,lotsa cool fight scenes straight outa Matrix (without the futuristic machinery),a big computer generated beast thingy with metal teeth that kills poor peasents out in the fields of 1700 France,an Indian who knows kung fu,a concubine with a razor sharp Japanese fan,a reluctant stuffy woman who's trying not to let the main character into her skirt,and a one armed villian with two arms and one nasty sword that's more than a sword.
Actually in between all the action it's pretty boring,two foriegners are brought in to slay a superwolf that's chowin' down on the Frenchies.That's pretty much all ya need to know about the plot.Fast forward thru the talkie scenes and edit together all the action segmants and you've got one kick ass music video!!
And the movie starts out just like "Jaws",except the girl is on the mountains and we see her get pummeled against a cliff instead of dragged under water but the scene is very similar.
Oh and we've got Monica Bellucci az a saucey n' sexy prostitute that doez everything from killing the main character to bringing him back to life!Whatta gal!
Very fun with the volume turned off and some Iron Maiden cranking out of the stereo!
Ragz Ratez It A:6.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:37 PM PST
Updated: Tuesday, 23 December 2003 11:45 PM PST
Wednesday, 17 December 2003
CHRISTMAS EVIL
Mood:
 mischievious
Ah.The X-Mas holiday iz just around the corner.I can tell by the crisp cold air,the smell of hot chocolat,the sound of "Jingle Cats"playing over and over in my head and the scattering of the remains of rioting shoppers who clawed and scraped each other over a $30.00 dvd player at the official Hell on Earth-Walmart.
So that meanz it's time to dust off my favorite Christmas classic that I watch religiously every year-yep,who needz "Frosty"or "Rudolph" or "Ernest Saves Christmas"when ya can watch that classic murky sludge of a holiday film called "Christmas Evil!"
Actually most of the 1980 flick iz pretty boring.We have to suffer thru the life of a lowly,lonely and desperatly obsessed man who works at the Jolly Dream Toy Company putting together crappy ass toyz on an assembly line.Ya see,this guy iz obssessed with Santa Claus,so much so that he constantly hums Christmas tunes and dressed up like Santa at home,trying to get his belly laughs just right for the big day.He's got a huge book listing all the bad kids that seems to grow everyday.It all stems from a memorably Christmas he had az a kid when he got a glimpse of Santa on his knees getting his jollys feeling up mom by the Christmas Tree.Finally when X-Mas Eve arrives he hops in his van and drops off gifts for the kids.Then it's time for Santa to start dishing out some whoop ass,az he greets his employers outside of a church by stabbing them in the eye with a wooden toy soldier.Our Bad Santa jumps back in his van and continues to make his rounds spreading his very special brand of holiday cheer throughout the city,slaying all the way.Eventually an angry mob forms,carrying TORCHES!!They track down Killer Kringle and then....
awmI can't tell ya the ending cuz it's something you haveta see for yourself,let me just say that it's THE GREATEST ENDING TO A MOVIE EVER!!!
Makes a great gift for your least favorite person on your Christmas list!
Ragz Ratez It A:8.5 for the ending alone!
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:17 AM PST
Saturday, 6 December 2003
KAIJU BIG BATTEL
Mood:
 caffeinated
It's amazing that no one has thought of this before cuz it's a brilliant idea.Take WWF Wrestling,dress it up in big rubber monster outfits,wrap it in Japanese Pop visuals and add a little blood and you've got Kaiju Big Battel!
They play it out in New York alot,live and in person,but if ya can't get out there to catch it luckily they've released a taste of the experience on dvd for us.The dvd features four matches,such as a battle between long time enemies Soup & Sandwich,or better known as thier Kaiju names-Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle & Club Sandwich.Inbetween the action and low brow color commentary we're flashed with crazy Japanese style banzai tv commercials.
I'm just bettin(and if they don't then they're gonna miss out on a good thing)that Comedy Central will snatch this up.Hey,it's much better than that geekfest "Battlebots!".
The only thing that it's missing is hot chickies in bikini's.Needs some sex appeal.
I'm sure seeing this stuff live is a real kick,but til then we gots the dvd.It'll leave ya happy long time!
Ragz Rates It A:7.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:21 PM PST
KISS-THE LOST CONCERT
Mood:
 happy
Unauthorized KISS videos usually consist of long drawn out shakey video camera shots of KISS Conventions,10th generation copies of old tv appearences and no KISS music whatsoever due to the Disney like Gene $immons tight reign on copyright infringement.
But someone,in this case Passport Video,has dug up some freshly old black & white footage of a concert blasted out in 1976 at the Roosevelt Stadium in New Jersey.It's a great document of a time smack dab in the middle of a transitional moment in KISStory where the boys are emerging from a low budget schlockshow to the superhero supergroup they will become.We see a young KISS,full of hunger & energy(even Ace!),wiggling thier REAL hair and toungues.They even perform "Flaming Youth"which has rarely been heard live(tho I don't know why.It works pretty good live.).Gene spit blood & fire,Paul prances,Peter rises to the ceiling and Ace is in top form,just making us KISS fans all the more dissapointed in him for not sticking with the silver boots & greasepaint.
Also included on the dvd is the complete television appearence of KISS on the "Mike Douglas Show",thier first major television appearence.Here we witness an almost embarrasingly over-enthusiastic Gene $immons trying to make his mark in rock & roll.The band performs "Firehouse" raw & nasty,yet you can still see alot of the awkwardness that would later be smoothed out in the yearz to come.Funny stuff!Not yet perfect,KISS is seen as a black diamond in the rough.Now if they would only release footage from thier appearence on "The Paul Lynde Halloween Special".Makes a great KISSmas gift!
Ragz Rates It A:8.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:12 PM PST
THE EYE
Mood:
 a-ok
I almost gave up on the "supernatural/horror"film a few yearz ago until M.Night Shyamalan shook our senses with "The Sixth Sense."It's atmospheric intelligence and quick spooky glimpses of the other side made it stand out from all the big budgeted splatter/explosion/big bug monster crap that waz coming out at the time.Sure,it spawned a legion of Hollywood copycats,but at least they tried with others like "Stir Of Echoes","The Others" & "Stigmata".Better than sittin' thru another crap ass "Scream"sequel.
Then,as soon as the whole "I see dead people"angle was becoming as familiar as seein'your neighbors taking out the garbage we were suprised and spooked by "The Ring."Looks like there's hope for us horror fans after all.It had it's faults but there's moments in the film that stand right up with the grandaddy of all horror flix-"The Exorcist".But sure enough you know there's gonna be a handful of filmakers trying to jump on that bandwagon and regurgitate the best of that film.
This time tho,Honk Kong has beat Hollywood to the punch with it's burnt offering called "The Eye".I had to check it out cuz I've heard alot of buzz about it.
The story is a well worn concept.A young woman who has been blind since the age of two goes in for a corneal transplant.All goes well til she starts seeing a shadowey figure that leads people off to the big dirt nap.We get glimpses of blurry faces and wierd sounds and strange happenings thru her dead sad eyes.It's a big mix of "The Ring",some old Twilight Zone & Tales From The Crypt episodes,"The Blair Witch"&"The Sixth Sense".
There's very few actually really scarey moments to one such as myself who's seen so many horror flix,but I like how we get to feel the anguish and torment of the young woman,which is well played out,so much that I'm suprised she just doesn't pluck her eyes out after awhile in good ol'Ray Milland style.But then that wouldn't lead up to the big finale.Which isn't scarey or creepy at all,just kinda suprising for a low key supernatural film.In fact,it's so perfect that it's no suprise that Hollywood's very own Tom Cruise has been rumoured to be producing an American version of this film.I just hope he can "spook"it up a little more.Course if he jumps around in his skivveyz to a Bob Seger tune in it,it may just be too spooky for me to bear.Eyes wide shut indeed.
Ragz Rates It A:6.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 1:58 PM PST
Saturday, 29 November 2003
KISS-BEHIND THE MASK
Mood:
 rushed
The book starts out in big ass letters "If you are not a KISS fan then put this book down NOW!" exclaims the writer David Leaf.It's abook about KISS for KISS fans,cuz if you don't really know anything about KISS and started to read this book alot of the content would be lost to you.But actually,much of the first part of the book,which is interviews that Leaf did with KISS in the late 70's,is common knowledge to KISS fans.There isn't all that much that us members in The KISS Army hasn't read a million times before.There is some snippets that are interesting,such as Casablanca's(KISS's label in the 70's)shady dealings and comments from people who knew KISS such as the members high school and college buddies.
What really takes off is the second half of the book,where the band,producers,various songwriters and session musicians break down each album and comment on the vibe of the time the albums were recorded and the process that took place in writing and recording the songs.There's quite a lot of surprises there.And a thrill for the well-versed KISS fanatic.It's interesting to read Gene $immon's views of Paul Stanley's songs and visa versa cuz they tend to dislike alot of each others' stuff,but they're also honest about thier own toons,such as Paul's repulsion at such songs as "Let's Put The X In Sex" and Gene's dislike of much of his stuff from the 80's.Also for a band that proclaims loudly that they "Don't bow down to know one",they sure did second guess themselves alot and tried to follow almost every music trend that came along.But who could blame them,gotta keep the cash flow and chicks coming in ya know.
Regardless,ya gotta love them,cuz in the end they put on the greatest live show ever!
But it doez kinda bother me that the guitarist from Mr.Mister did alot of guitar work on "Creatures Of The Night"
Sometimes it's better not to know what is "Behind The Mask"
Ragz Rates It A:6.5
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:21 AM PST
Sunday, 23 November 2003
VICTORIA SECRETS FASHION SHOW
Mood:
cheeky
Last year I missed out on the Victoria Secrets Fashion Show on TV cuz I waz out in Detroit Rock City catching the last Guns N'Roses Mach 2 show.It waz well worth the trip and missing the special tv event but that's another story.
This year I got to see what all the soft porn hoopla waz all about!The Victoria Secrets Fashion Show is the closest you can get to masturbatory delight from a network tv show.Hot chickies wearing shoe strings for underwear and stomping down the runway in stiletto healed Gestapo struts and Warren Worthington wingz is the show that puts the boobs in Boob Tube!
Inbetween bouncing butt and breast cleavage we get a glimpse of the chaos that goez on backstage.We see one ubermodel get tangled up in her own outfit and almost bites the dust on the stage while another nearly takez out the lighting rig with her massive Hawkgirl wings.
Unfortunatly the action is distracted by a few musical numbers performed by Sting & Mary J.Blige.Sting doez a fine job but Blige ruins the moment when she duets with Mr.Karma Sutra,wailing like a guttercat gettin' the ol' firecracker lit in thru the outdoor.Sheesh,can't one of the supermodels shove a pair of panties in her mouth and shut her up?
So other than that.the VSFS is one of the finest moments in TV.Lotsa fodder for us guyz with a video capture card(All Praize Snappy!!).
Can't wait for next yearz show.
I suggest Poison az the musical act.Just seems more appropriate.
Ragz Ratez It A:7.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 7:28 PM PST
Tuesday, 18 November 2003
REIGN OF FIRE
Mood:
 on fire
Anyone who knowz The Ragzter knowz I dig post apocalyptic moviez.Something about seeing a once modern world all destroyed & lain to waste givez me a thrill.From the old 70's "Killraven"comics to recent flicks such az "28 Days",I get a kick out of the modern world getting kicked.Not that I wish that fate on us,but I think it paints an interesting picture.Nothing like seeing The Golden Arches half buried under dust n' rubble.
Mix that backdrop with giant fire breathing dragons and you've got yerself a winner!
It's just like the old "Killreaven"comix but instead of Martians taking over the world we here have the dragons,swooping out of the cloudy skiez and raining hell on a small band of survivors.
Matthew McConaughey(who I didn't even recognize at first)playz the tough ass American milititary leader who has the helicopters,missiles & battle axes,while Christian Bale iz the classic almost-midieval knight.The two men battle over who'z gonna lead the remaining ragtag humans left against the dragons.Other than that,it's all out action time.
People that also know me know I hate computer generated characters.I prefer guys in rubber suits or old Harryhausen stop motion puppets,but I'll be damned if they didn't finally get CGC right this time.The dragons are friggin' awesome!
I don't usually get out to the theater very often,but this waz one of the movies my gal & I trekked out and saw on the big screen when it first came out and the only dissapointment for me waz there wazn't enuff dragons in it,but since seeing it again I thought it waz just fine.Woulda liked to see scenes of when the dragons took over the world-seeing city's like Las Vegas & Japan destroyed by dragons woulda been a super thrill,but the scenes in downtown dessimated London looked really gloomy n' dark.
I doubt there'll be a sequel to it being that I don't think it did all that well in the theaters,but it would be interesting to see how the rest of the world dealt with theze beasties.
Ragz Rates It A:8.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:12 AM PST
Monday, 10 November 2003
BEYOND EVIL
Mood:
 smelly
"Beyond Evil".Hmmmm.
More like "Beyond Comprehension Due To Lack Of Attention Span".
From what I gather about this 70's type horror flick is that John Saxon & his wife buy a fancy dancy house on some tropical isle and an old resurrected sorceress inhabits the body of his wife and makes cars fall apart while driving them,gets Saxon's best friend to give her a kiss and then tosses him out a window and superimposes her face on tabletops.
The horror! The Horror!!
Oh,and she shoots green lasers out of her eyes!
It's a piece o' crap,maybe good for a teeny weenie bit of chuckles but basically it's pretty boring.The sad thing is that it's the best of the four movies of a cheapie box set called "Blood Thirst"that also features the flicks "Back From Hell","Project Vampire"& "The Passing"."Beyond Evil"indeed.
Ragz Ratez It A:2.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:07 AM PST
Friday, 31 October 2003
WELCOME GLITTERCATZ & GHOULIEDAWGZ!
Now Playing: Guns N'Roses
Yep,yet another bloggie from The Ragzter.But this one will solee be for reviewing muzik,mooviez,comix,tv showz,concertz,magazinez & anything elze that I feel like rambling on aboot!
It's time for Ragz-O-Riffic A Go Go-Bloggie Of A Media Babie!
Enjoy!!
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 1:37 AM PST
Updated: Friday, 31 October 2003 1:54 AM PST
Newer | Latest | Older
|
