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Thursday, 15 April 2004
WILD ZERO
Mood:
 loud
Now Playing: "You must believe in rock and roll!"
If any band in the world could save rock & roll it's Guitar Wolf.They are the loudest,coolest and baddest band of muthas in the world.In "Wild Zero",Guitar Wolf proves it.
They battle Zombies,Aliens,Evil club owners and non-believers without even breaking a sweat.
"Wild Zero",a Japanese rock n' roll action packed monster of a b-movie iz everything you'd ever want or need in a movie.It's funny,gory,rockin' and just plain inspiring.Yes kiddies,there still is real rock n' roll out there!
There's very little plot here.A young rocker kid by the name of Ace,worships Guitar Wolf(the band),falls in love with a pretty girl,gets attacked by zombies and is taught that all you really need is to believe in rock and roll to survive.
Mix "Return Of The Living Dead" with "Mars Attacks",toss in a little leather n' black sunglasses,turn the volume way up and you get "Wild Zero".
This movie needz to be shown to about 95% of the new bands out there so they know just how much they suck.Korn,Nickelback,Limp Bizkit,you name 'em,would hang up thier guitarz in a second cause they don't even come close to this band and how hard they rock.
Plus,Guitar Wolf,the guitarist,has the coolest guitar/samuari sword in the world.
This rocked my lame ass big time!
Ragz Rates It A;10.00
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:33 PM PDT
Thursday, 8 April 2004
SHAKIRA:LIVE OFF THE RECORD
Mood:
 cheeky
She plays the guitar!
She showz animal snuff filmz!
She talks politics!
She playz the drums!
She's Shakira!Live!On a dvd!
Her music iz all over the place-from dancey Middle Eastern inspired numbers,to rock,to techno-diva,and of course-passionate Latin cha cha cha,the modern day Charo doez it all.The music's ok,tho her version of AC/DC's "Back In Black"iz pretty dreadful & weak,and she really doesn't have a very powerful voice but when it comez down to it that's not why I'm watching this dvd.
It's those hips man!
She's a glorified bellydancer.
And I ain't complainin' none!
Plus,ya just know that Shakira iz dying to really rock out.
If she woulda came out in the 80's she would've gave Lee Aaron a run for the Metal Queen title.
Someone please,let her do the rock,teach her how to scream then she would be perfect!
Az long as she doesn't get political,Yeesh.
Keep her off the drumz too.
And just show close up of "those Hips!"on the big screens instead of scenes from "Make Them Die Slowly"and she could rule the world.
Bow to the new Metal Queen!
Ragz Rates It A:5 for music,10 for the bellydancing!
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:39 AM PDT
BATMAN:DEAD END!
Mood:
 special
I didn't know this thing existed til I went to the Wizard World Convention in L.A. a few weeks ago.It waz runnin' on every dealers' tv's.It caught my eye and I asked what it waz.One of the dealers said it waz a short film made by some guy who waz trying to pitch it to a major film company and they turned him down.
So,it'z slapped on various websites and becomez a fanboyz dream come true.
What we have here,to make it brief,cuz the film iz only about 8 minutes long,iz an action packed fight fest with perhaps THE best visualization of Batman ever.He's stocky,grim and wearin' the old grey & blue tights.No rubber nipples here.
First he takes on a wildy insane Joker,then gets jumped by one of those black slimey Xenomorphs' from the Alien series,only to end up coming face to reggae face himself-The Predator.
It all endz up just makin' you wanting more.It looks incredible!
Someone give this guy a movie!
Granted,we really have no idea if he can handle a plot,but he definatly captured Bruce Wayne's gritty alter ego perfectly.
Get your handz on this.Before Hollywood gets ahold of it and puts the nipples back in.
Ragz Rates It A:8.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:18 AM PDT
Monday, 5 April 2004
THE LIVING END/JET & THE VINES @ HARD ROCK,LAS VEGAS
Mood:
cheeky
Why iz it that everytime I go to a show I'm dead tired?Seemz like I never get enuff sleep the night before,so goin' to a show iz kind of a big deal for me,and unless the bands are really good and wake me up I spend most of the show waiting for it to end.
Well,last nights' show at The Joint in the Hard Rock hotel waz another challenge for me to make it thru.I waz pooped,got out of work,lost an hour of sleep due to the daylight savingz time demon,and my dogz were tired.
I pretty much missed the opening act Neon.From what I did see it looked like one of those droning noise maker type bandz.You know the ones that don't bother to even try to make music with any pop sense-ability.Hold on to that one note and just let it ring kinda bandz.
After downing a tasty beer and mingling about The Living End hit the stage.From the moment they charged into thier rock-a-punk-o-billie jo armstrong laden toonage they owned the stage.The guitarist,sportin' one of those hollow body Ted Nugenty geeetarz ripped the frets like nobody's business.Like The Stray Cats genespliced with Social Distorton.They impressed me much,not really knowin' much about them they gave me a much needed surprise and an energy boost.Thumbz Up!
Another beer down and startin' to feel the effects,Jet sauntered onstage with that "bitch" song,but it took them three or four songz to finally get the crowd goin'.Somehow,the band I came to see and expected them to garage rock my ass off just couldn't follow up The Living End."Are You Gonna Be My Girl" upped the ante and almost made it,with it's groovy beat and audience singalong,but it all else became a jumbled mess and lost it's momentum,tho Jet tried hard they just couldn't take off.
By this point I waz done with the beer and just downing a straight coke.The tiredness waz kicking in again and when The Vines finally came out with thier blinding lights burning into my bloodshot eyes,I waz done.Tho interesting for about 5 minutes,the Vines get boring really fast with it's wailing off key vocals and sloppy guitar work.The band looked like they were lost trying to keep up with the singers contrived "I'm crazy and look at my craziness"yelpfest.Sure,I give props to any band that trashes thier instruments by the end of the show but even I want something I can hum along too inbetween the feedback and cymbal crashes.Not very impressed.I think the singer iz on The Dope.
Winner of the evening:The Living End!
Ragz Rates The Living End:8.0
Ragz Rates Jet:6.5
Ragz Rates The Vines:3.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:03 PM PDT
Thursday, 1 April 2004
DAWN OF THE DEAD(2004)
Mood:
 smelly
Every website n' horror mag n' critic haz already feasted(iz that a real word?)on this movie.So anything I have to say iz probably redundant.
But I still gots ta put my two centz in.
First off-enuff with the remakez fer christ's sake,there'z tonz o writerz out there with great ideas that Hollyood just won't take a chance on.
But...if they HAVE to do a remake,better to follow this movie az an example on how to do it right.Better to rip off the masters I guess.It's the same approach I took when listening to alot of 80's metal.Better that Bulletboys were ripping off classic Van Halen than Jackson Browne.
But I'm roaming way off track...sorry.
This iz how I look at it...
When going into the theater to see "a re-imagining"of a classic film,think of it az an event that iz happening sometime around the same time/and or place az the original.Fer example,when Tim Burton tackled "Planet Of The Apes"I percieved it az the planet being the same planet that Charlton Heston landed on,but in a different part of the planet-say Washington instead of New York,and mayhaps at a different time period too just to play it safe.That way it's not directly a sequel,but another story that takes place.Make sense?
So that's what I did with the new "Dawn Of The Dead."Yeah,I know,it doesn't take place in the early 80's,but let's face it,there'z a million stories that can be told about various people around the world and how they dealt with the dead rising.
Better yet,pretend it's the American point of view when "28 Days Later"happened,cuz it actually haz more in common with that flick than the original George Romero classic.
Cuz theze zombies ARE VICIOUS!!
They may still be dumb az a rock but boy can they move!I wouldn't last a second in this movie,with my nicotine encased lungz I'd be past out long before a dead thing started chompin' on my neck!
It's pretty darn impressive.And any movie that starts with Johnny Cash's "When The Man Comes Around' and endz with Jim Carroll's "All The People Who Died" haz got to be good!
In fact the first 10 minutes of this movie rocks harder than any American horror film haz since az long az I can remember.It's what I wanted "Independance Day"to be before it turned into a military recruitment film.
And it doesn't skimp on the blood n' guts and just plain discustingness either.No wimpin' out here!
Horror fanz are screaming nothing but praize for this movie,and deservidly so.It'z a zombie fun fest to the extreme.
I just wondered why the survivors in the movie didn't try using the internet to communicate with the outside world.
Hmmmm....maybe it did take place in the early 80's...
yep-
we've got a twitcher here!
Ragz Ratez It A:9.5
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:30 AM PST
Monday, 8 March 2004
VH1CLASSICS:METAL MANIA
Mood:
 party time!
I can't go without posting praise to VH1 for bringing back the 80's Rawk in all it's flash n' grand cheesiness!
"Metal Mania",the bastard child of "Headbangers Ball",flickerz across the screen all those great big haired,leather spiked n' spandexed,eyeliner n' Aqua Netted heroez of yesteryear.Oh yeah!When rockstars had fun being rockstars and didn't give a shit about saving the rainforests or such nonsense.Nope,it waz all about the most wasted ya could get and the most tail tail ya could get.
What really rulez about "Metal Mania"isz that it'z so much more than Motley Crues "Girls Girls Girls"or Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It".They've dug deep into the hallowed underground of Flash Metal.Oh yeah,it's not rare to see Vains' "Who's Watchin' You" or,my ultimate fave-EZO's "Flashback Heart Attack"!I've even seen videos I didn't even know existed by such groups az Rock City Angels & The Sea Hags!!
Someone haz dug into my closet of old videotapes and broadcasted it on the boob toob.
And there's no shortage of boobs in theze vidz.
See the people responsible for creating the hole in the ozone layer,turn it up and get it on!!
Schlock N'Roll iz back baby!!
Ragz Rates It A:10
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 10:51 PM PST
Tuesday, 24 February 2004
HORRORPOPS "HELL YEAH"
Man,the cover has a girl all gothed out with an awesome stand up bass.I recon it's gotta be good,had to snap it up mighty quickly!ohhh,can't wait to hear it,I JUST KNOW IT"S GONNA ROCK!
Well,ROCK may be the wrong word for it.
POP,fits it it more like it,POP in that polished up contrived mixture that's sure to appeal to tha girls.
Imagine if No Doubt was influenced by polished rockabilly instead of ska and they had a passing fascination with cheapee b-movie moviez,and you gets Horrorpops.(Sounds like a sweet breakfast cereal ala Freekies!).
Tha stand up bass DOES sound cool,the toonz are catchy,but with titles like "Girl In A Cage" &Psychobitches Outta Hell" I reckon there's be SOME rawness,some good ol' giant gila monster fuzz n' badoomp ba doomp.But,nope,POPS is correct I guess,BUT WHERE'S THE HORROR?Where's the nasty 50 Foot Woman vocals,the kinda stuff ya buy all those Something Wierd vidoes for?
Well,it ain't here daddio.
Not that it's all bad,but with a name like Horrorpops I waz expectin' some ghoulishness to go with the sideburns and ducktails.
Oh well,
hey!Wattevva happened to Monster Zero anywayz?
Ragz Rates It A:5.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 3:13 AM PST
Tuesday, 3 February 2004
JUON:THE GRUDGE
I'm convinced!The Japanese make the creepiest,scariest horror films in this day & age.All the poop the U.S. has been coming out with nowhere compares to the shriekfests that Japan has been turning out.Once again my praises of "The Ring" echoes thru this blog."Audition"will stick with ya forever.And now I've finally got to see another horror masterpiece.
"Juon:The Grudge"
Juon is a curse that centers around a house that is tremendously haunted.What makes this Haunted House different from others tho,is that the horror doesn't just stay home,nope,it makes contact with people,kills some and follows others to the outside world,spreading from one person to another,almost like a virus.
"Juon"is also kind of an anthology style horror flick,but also different than the "Tales Of The Crypt"type stories.
The movie takes us along on the journey of six unlucky people who have all come in contact with "the Curse".We get to feel the terror they all go thru,and boy will it make ya jump.
Like most of my reviews I don't like to give anything away,but I can't recomend this flick enough.If you thing "Ringu" or "The Ring"was scarey then "Juon"will definatley thrill your chills!
The thing that really interests me is that both "The Ring" & "Juon"started out as a tv series in Japan.I gotta check those out too,cuz I can't imagine American television even coming near to this much fright fun.The closest thing I can thing of was "Twin Peaks",but tho it had it's creepy moments,pure horror is never part of our tv line up of weekly shows(unless you count reality tv shows which all make me wanna crawl under the covers).
Luckily they don't follow you under them...
tho Juon does.
Don't close your eyes....
Ragz Rates It a:10.00
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 8:49 PM PST
Thursday, 29 January 2004
GILBY CLARKE'S BLUES MAFIA @PALMS CASINO-LAS VEGAS
Mood:
 vegas lucky
The lucky thing about livin' in Las Vegas iz that I gets to see alot of concerts,from big major acts too new upcoming ones.Las Vegas is also where rockstarz go to die.Vince Neil,Kevin Dubrow and Steven Adler all live out here.But that's one of my fave thingz about Vegas iz I can see my fave 80's artists perform,usually with a revamped line-up and in front of a lot less people than what they performed to in the 80's.But it's here where you get to witness the REAL DEAL's and the WASHED UPS.
Gilby Clarke,former guitarist for Candy,Guns N' Roses and Kill For Thrills playz out here alot.It's not a rare thing to see him at least 4 times a year.And the thing with Gilby is it's always a great show.Always.If you need to see the real deal than he's all you need.He knowz the Rawk N'Rawl.Inside n' out.
This time-playing in a small lounge called The Palapa Lounge inside the Palms Casino.he took his rawkshow in a different direction this night.Gilby Clarke's Blues Mafia consists of Eric Singer(Alice Cooper/KISS/Badlands),Teddy ZigZag(Guns N'Roses/Alice Cooper),Stefan Adika(Dad's Porno Mag,Dee Dee Ramone)and Gilby,dressed in nice black suits with white ties,they fed us some much needed bloozy rawk,doing all the classic blooze toons.Then when the show heated up they started diggin' up the Rawk classix-"KISS'"Nothin' To Lose",a few Rolling Stones toons,a few Alice Cooper toons,Iggys'"I Wanna Be Your Dog" and everything else under the sun.In between the toons the guys bantered about with each other in that ol' politically incorrect jibes n' jabs ala The Rat Pack.They were hilarious.Somehow I can see the guys getting a regular gig here,like Sinatra,Martin & Davis Jr. did at The Sands.It's time Vegas gets a new Rat Pack,and instead of the many impersonators and tribute shows that flood this city it's good to see the REAL DEAL.
It's damn time The Mafia takes over Vegas again.
Ragz Rates It A:10
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:49 AM PST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 1:15 AM PST
Thursday, 22 January 2004
AUDITION
Mood:
 flirty
Love iz a many splendored thing,or in the case of this movie-a many splintered thing.
Yowzah.
This movie will make ya squirm more than being forced to listen to a Clay Aikens cd for hours.
"Audition"iz one of those precautionary talez about love & dating in the modern world.Ya just never know what yer gonna get til it's too late.
It's a cross between "Fatal Attraction","Misery" & "He Said,She Said'but so much better than all three of those flickiez all together.
It all starts out az a nifty idea-holding a casting call for a non-existant movie so the main character can meet chicks-which coulda made a great teen/party flick premise also,turns into a grueling test of ones faith in the female species.They are the most dangerous ones y'know!
Course she's a complete babe and what straight guy wouldn't fall for such an innocent looking babe,but az soon az she slips on the vinyl and gets to business,she may call it love but you're sure to call it a nightmare.
It's a must see in the Japanese Horror Genre-a classic that will stick with ya like Acupuncture Needles for dayz after seein' it.
Man,the Japanese know how to make some twisted films.
Just ya bet that some bigwig in Hollywood's gonna end up making an American version of it.
See it before Hollywood ruins it!
Ragz Rates It A:9.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 10:27 PM PST
Sunday, 18 January 2004
THE BLACK JETTS "BLEED ME"
Mood:
vegas lucky
I don't know how the music scene has been anywhere else,but here in Las Vegas it's been pretty abysmal for the most part.That iz until recently.The past few yearz haz actually spawned some interesting bandz in the area-bandz that finally aren't afraid to RAWK!
And leading the way iz Las Vegas's very own-The Black Jetts.
Having caught them live ya get the feeling that Vegas iz getting that much needed kick in the ass,a monsterous rebel of a band,usually caught at The Double Down,a small stinky and smokey dive just a hop and a skip from The Hard Rock.
They've finally slammed down some grooves onto a disc and released the houndz with "Bleed Me",a garage rawk jitterbug o' sonic induced madness.
The truth iz I waz being told a year or so ago how I haveta see this band and that I would really dig 'em.I kept getting a description of the boyz az a Iggy & The Stooges torchbearerz,and tho there iz that indeedy in the musik,there's also some good ol' sixties type feeling buried under the wall of destruction.Don't know why but I keep getting images of Z-Man from "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls"when I turn this disc up."It's my happening and it freaks me out!".
Oddly enuff,I came in contact with The Jetts when thier bassist Danny got a job working along side The Ragzter peddlin' crappy hip hoppity & Nuuuuu-Metal poop to the kiddies.We shared a common place between the speakers,listenin' to Roxy Erickson & The Return Of The Living Dead soundtrack in equal appreciation.Here iz a kid that understands The Rawk!We shared storiez of the misadventures of our bandz,traded info on the good new stuff and I saw the young stars in his eyes that I useta have before I became bitter and lazy.It'z good to know someone out there iz spreadin' the Rawk Gospel again.
Well,one night,after being fed up with the job routine and the chains of restriction it imposes on ya,Danny finally decided to quit and follow his heart.Right before he walked out the door he said "Sorry man,but I gotta rock".
I gotta rock.
Yep,the kid's got it and the kid's gonna be alright.Somehow I think he made the right choice.
You gotta rock?Take a ride with The Black Jetts.
Do it for you.
Do it for The Rawk.
Do it for Danny.
Ragz Rates It A:7.85
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:44 AM PST
Friday, 16 January 2004
AGENT X #1
Mood:
 silly
Marvel Comics has taken the letter "X" and pretty much has made a whole new comic book universe from it.
It started with The X-Men.
Then came along X-Force,X-Factor,X-Man,Xcalibur,Xtreme X-Men,X-cetera,X-cetera,X-Cetera.
And I've been a sucker for all of them.I'm an "X" junkie,ever since I picked up that Giant Size X-Men #1 many,many yearz ago in a Marvel Universe far far away.
Yet,I've learned tha hard way that many of them are duds(Kitty Pryde-Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D comes to mind).But "Agent X" iz pretty darn entertaining.
Here's the official Marvel blurb-"Mathematically,the letter "X" stands for an unknown or variable quantity.But in the dangerous world of the modern-day gun-for-hire,it stands for Alex Hayden,the man with no past.Uninterested in the mystery of his own beginnings,Agent X is determined to take his position as the world's most deadliest,and highest paid mercenary."
The story involves Agent X trying to kill off a former superhero so his girlfriend doesn't get offed by the former superheroes ex-wife.The only problem,this once upon a time superdood-who went by the name of Fight Man,is invulnerable to pain and destruction,tho Fight Man,who's pretty done with living,let's Agent X attempt to murder him.They try everything-smashing a car into him,bathing him in a tub of acid,electriction and everything else under the sun.But they have no luck.
Agent X is a fun read,but I've gotta wonder why they went thru all the trouble to create this new Agent X character cuz in almost every way possible he's the same character as another Marvel mercenary by the name of Deadpool.Same powers,same ugly mug,same sense of humor.
Oh hell,what's another "X"character gonna hurt?
Only my wallet.
Ragz Rates It A:7.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:57 PM PST
Saturday, 3 January 2004
THE BANGLES LIVE @ THE HOUSE OF BLUES-LAS VEGAS
Mood:
 amorous
Everytime The Bangles have come to town I've missed them.Alwayz something comez up.But finally the starz lined up just right and last night I finally got to catch the Fem Fab Four live at The House Of Blues.
First off the show waz opened by four guys who call themself Ponder.Sorry,but I just don't understand normal joes who pick up guitars and think they can rock.It's not how it's to be in my lil' twisted mind.Ya gotta have something,mainly the key is that good rockers are usually made up of outcasts,people that don't quite fit into the everyday run of the mill segmant of humanity.Mayhaps a missing chromozone,or a funny lisp,or even,skinny guys who can't in no way or how get laid til they put on a Gibson Les Paul.Ponder is just so damn normal they're completely boring.They look like part time car mechanics who watch way too much ESPN and listen to too many Springsteen,Mellencamp & Seger records.Yuk.Not one offensive lick,not one feedbacking guitar nor a ugly sucker in the bunch.They can never be rockstars cuz they don't know what it's like to be ragged on,beaten up by jocks,or drink anything harder than a St.Paulie Girl.Heck,I'm just bettin' they were the ones pickin' on the guys in high school that had an earring.Yuk.They sucked.Tho the girls liked 'em.Girls have no taste.
Except if you're The Bangles.Ok,you could probably say the same about The Bangles az I did with Ponder,but if ya look past the fact that the four hot ladies haven't aged a single bit since the 80's and play hummable dance along non-offensive rock there's still something more there.Let's face it,how many chicks do you know base thier whole musical foundation on 60's pop rock.You'll hear The Byrds,The Beatles,Alex Chilton & get visions of matchstick men jingle janglin' thru thier 80's sensebilities.When most girls pick up an instrument and try to be rockers they either go the Joan Jett I'm tuff as fingernails and don't touch me there or the I'm a hippy Edie Brickell who only sings in college cafe's kinda girl.The Bangles do stand out cuz they've got that 60's sound that no other girl group has come close to.
Most of the setlist consisted of new songs off of thier recent cd "Doll Revolution",which come off so much better live than on the album.The cd sounded too restrained for me,but live it all makes much more sense.Tho they did throw in my least fave of the new album "Single By Choice"who's lyrics make me cringe but that's probably cuz I'm a guy and don't understand.
Of course all the hits were there.Thier harmonies were amazingly perfect.That's a hard thing to pull off live when ya got guys hooten an' hollerin' at them and monitors feedbacking,but they hit the notes dead on.
Of course the guys go to see the hottie Susanna Hoffs,tiny little thing with here little skirt.But the rest were just as hot in thier own way,especially bassist Michael Steele with her gothic/punkier fashion sense.But again this is the icing on a very sweet n' delicious cake.
Makes ya wanna pick up a 12 string and write some real songs.
Ragz Rates Ponder:3.0
Ragz Rates The Bangles:8.25
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 1:14 PM PST
Thursday, 1 January 2004
"THE KILLER EYE" & "FLESH FOR THE BEAST"
Mood:
cheeky
Two moviez that make a perfect double bill o' hooters n' crap!Imagine if the writers of Penthouse Forum Letters where given a crappy camcorder & made moviez.Then you would basically get these two movies.
"The Killer Eye" is,well,about a killer eye that pops out of another dimension from a teenage boy prostitute and goes on the loose feeling up women and giving them the sexual experience of thier life.All the while the nerdy mad scientist that would rather play with his killer eye than with his hottie of a wife chases down the one eyed wonder worm with his fellow cast of bad actors.We also have to suffer thru two male characters that sit around in thier underwear and keep reminding us how stoned they are.Ok,sure this may all sound like a madcap blast of a b-movie but it's not.Very little worth seeing here,yet still better than a sharp stick in the eye.Not much tho.
"Flesh For The Beast"isn't much better but at least it tries to be.An eccentric rich guy hires a group of ghostbusters to help him calm the crazy ghosts that spooks around in his mansion.Why I don't understand cuz the ghosts are a trio of slutty chickies who strip naked,get ya off then slit your throat.Sounds like a date to me.But we soon learn there is more tho the millionaire than we originally thought.Tries to be scary but isn't,tries to be sexy and it really isn't that either.Shoulda just made it a porno flick and throw away the chincey plot.
Saves on the fast forward time and frees up the hands.
Ragz Rates "The Killer Eye" A:5
Ragz Rates "Flesh For The Beast"A:6
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 8:42 PM PST
THE STROKES/KINGS OF LEON LIVE 12/31/03
Mood:
 chillin'
I've lived in Las Vegas for almost 10 yearz now and I've only spent one New Years Eve on the infamous Strip.Everyone should experience it once,then ferget about doing it ever again cuz it's just a plain madhouse.And last night,with the threat of terrorism in the chilly air,it wazn't where I waz gunna be.
Planz for the new year festivities were comin' down to the wire so we opted to go see The Strokes right down the street from where I live at The Cox Pavilion,a small lil' auditorium usually where the local bands play.A few weeks after making that decision we learned that Adler's Appetite,Motochrist,Taime Downe & others' where also playing just five minutes away.Crap!!Not enuff money for both,and it's too late to change the plans.
Not that I don't dig The Strokes,it's just that if I had to pick I'd go for the Glamoriffic sleaze rawk show.But the die was cast.
And it wazn't a dissapointment.
First thing:The crowd.People watching iz alwayz fun at concerts cuz each band alwayz brings in thier own type.Last nights crowd waz pretty interesting.Young kids dressing like thier grandfathers did in the 60's,with thier Stonesish hairdos and jackets,ties and nerd glasses.The male population has that whole Jerry & The Pacemakers look all down pat!Which is so refreshing,funny yes,but so much better than the Fred Durst/Whigger look.
Second Thing:Having to sit thru almost two hourz of Reggae muzik before the bandz hit the stage.I firmly believe that white people really don't like reggae,they just think they do.Take away the marijuanahootchie from the reggae culture and fratboys wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Third Thing:The opening act finally started the festivities,which consisted of one lone drunk hippy chick with a fucked up keyboard and a drumstick named Regina Spector.
Sheesh.Felt like I walked into a cafe in the 90's on the set of "Singles".Alright lyrics and a good voice still couldn't dilute the overdramatic pretension of this act.
Fourth Thing:After another hour of Cindy Lauper toons over the P.A.,finally The Kings Of Leon hit the stage.They were quite impressive with thier brand of garage rock played by CCR kinda hook.They got the crowd goin' pretty good and thier songs go over much better live than on the record.Very good!
I think the last song they did(which I don't recall the name of and I'm too lazy to go look it up)waz the highlight of the whole evening.Blew my mind!
Fifth Thing:Another long wait and finally The Strokes burst out upon the stage like teenage Beatles!The girls high pitched Budokan screams filled the small place and incredibly bright strobe lights barraged our eyeballs.Thier toonz make people hop,up and down,and in a happy way.These kids came to rock,not to bludgeon each other with thier skinheads n' baseball caps."New York City Cops"waz cranked shortly before midnight,then another toon and they ended it right on the dot-10 seconds before the birth of 2004.All in all a very good n' plenty fun live band.Still missed The Pussycat n'GnR guys,but The Strokes & The Kings Of Leon proves that the future of rock n' roll is all right.
Sixth Thing:The cell phone cameras have replaced the bic lighter.Saw more of those lighting up the crowd than flames.Which is probably a good thing cuz we've all burnt our fingertips enuff partaking in the rock concert ritual.
If it wasn't for the cellphonecams I coulda swore we went back in time to 1966 than ringing in 2004!
Ragz Rates Regina Spector:3.5
Ragz Rates The Kings Of Leon:8.0
Ragz Rates The Strokes:7.5
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 7:15 PM PST
Thursday, 25 December 2003
PLUSH KING GHIDORAH
Mood:
 hug me
Man,why didn't they make thingz like this when I waz a kid?
So much giant monster stuff out there nowadayz-
and here we have just one of the cool plush "Godzilla"series critterz!
How cool is that?
I say "very cool!"
They're brought to you by the nifty folks at http://www.toyvault.com
Godzilla,King Ghidorah & Mothra are out now-coming soon-Rodan!!
Ragz Ratez It A:8.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:44 PM PST
Tuesday, 23 December 2003
BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
Mood:
 quizzical
Is it a werewolf movie?A martial arts action film?A French period piece?A romance date movie?A special effects extravaganza?A sword n' sorcery epic?
It's all of them!!
It's got it all,lotsa cool fight scenes straight outa Matrix (without the futuristic machinery),a big computer generated beast thingy with metal teeth that kills poor peasents out in the fields of 1700 France,an Indian who knows kung fu,a concubine with a razor sharp Japanese fan,a reluctant stuffy woman who's trying not to let the main character into her skirt,and a one armed villian with two arms and one nasty sword that's more than a sword.
Actually in between all the action it's pretty boring,two foriegners are brought in to slay a superwolf that's chowin' down on the Frenchies.That's pretty much all ya need to know about the plot.Fast forward thru the talkie scenes and edit together all the action segmants and you've got one kick ass music video!!
And the movie starts out just like "Jaws",except the girl is on the mountains and we see her get pummeled against a cliff instead of dragged under water but the scene is very similar.
Oh and we've got Monica Bellucci az a saucey n' sexy prostitute that doez everything from killing the main character to bringing him back to life!Whatta gal!
Very fun with the volume turned off and some Iron Maiden cranking out of the stereo!
Ragz Ratez It A:6.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:37 PM PST
Updated: Tuesday, 23 December 2003 11:45 PM PST
Wednesday, 17 December 2003
CHRISTMAS EVIL
Mood:
 mischievious
Ah.The X-Mas holiday iz just around the corner.I can tell by the crisp cold air,the smell of hot chocolat,the sound of "Jingle Cats"playing over and over in my head and the scattering of the remains of rioting shoppers who clawed and scraped each other over a $30.00 dvd player at the official Hell on Earth-Walmart.
So that meanz it's time to dust off my favorite Christmas classic that I watch religiously every year-yep,who needz "Frosty"or "Rudolph" or "Ernest Saves Christmas"when ya can watch that classic murky sludge of a holiday film called "Christmas Evil!"
Actually most of the 1980 flick iz pretty boring.We have to suffer thru the life of a lowly,lonely and desperatly obsessed man who works at the Jolly Dream Toy Company putting together crappy ass toyz on an assembly line.Ya see,this guy iz obssessed with Santa Claus,so much so that he constantly hums Christmas tunes and dressed up like Santa at home,trying to get his belly laughs just right for the big day.He's got a huge book listing all the bad kids that seems to grow everyday.It all stems from a memorably Christmas he had az a kid when he got a glimpse of Santa on his knees getting his jollys feeling up mom by the Christmas Tree.Finally when X-Mas Eve arrives he hops in his van and drops off gifts for the kids.Then it's time for Santa to start dishing out some whoop ass,az he greets his employers outside of a church by stabbing them in the eye with a wooden toy soldier.Our Bad Santa jumps back in his van and continues to make his rounds spreading his very special brand of holiday cheer throughout the city,slaying all the way.Eventually an angry mob forms,carrying TORCHES!!They track down Killer Kringle and then....
awmI can't tell ya the ending cuz it's something you haveta see for yourself,let me just say that it's THE GREATEST ENDING TO A MOVIE EVER!!!
Makes a great gift for your least favorite person on your Christmas list!
Ragz Ratez It A:8.5 for the ending alone!
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:17 AM PST
Saturday, 6 December 2003
KAIJU BIG BATTEL
Mood:
 caffeinated
It's amazing that no one has thought of this before cuz it's a brilliant idea.Take WWF Wrestling,dress it up in big rubber monster outfits,wrap it in Japanese Pop visuals and add a little blood and you've got Kaiju Big Battel!
They play it out in New York alot,live and in person,but if ya can't get out there to catch it luckily they've released a taste of the experience on dvd for us.The dvd features four matches,such as a battle between long time enemies Soup & Sandwich,or better known as thier Kaiju names-Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle & Club Sandwich.Inbetween the action and low brow color commentary we're flashed with crazy Japanese style banzai tv commercials.
I'm just bettin(and if they don't then they're gonna miss out on a good thing)that Comedy Central will snatch this up.Hey,it's much better than that geekfest "Battlebots!".
The only thing that it's missing is hot chickies in bikini's.Needs some sex appeal.
I'm sure seeing this stuff live is a real kick,but til then we gots the dvd.It'll leave ya happy long time!
Ragz Rates It A:7.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:21 PM PST
KISS-THE LOST CONCERT
Mood:
 happy
Unauthorized KISS videos usually consist of long drawn out shakey video camera shots of KISS Conventions,10th generation copies of old tv appearences and no KISS music whatsoever due to the Disney like Gene $immons tight reign on copyright infringement.
But someone,in this case Passport Video,has dug up some freshly old black & white footage of a concert blasted out in 1976 at the Roosevelt Stadium in New Jersey.It's a great document of a time smack dab in the middle of a transitional moment in KISStory where the boys are emerging from a low budget schlockshow to the superhero supergroup they will become.We see a young KISS,full of hunger & energy(even Ace!),wiggling thier REAL hair and toungues.They even perform "Flaming Youth"which has rarely been heard live(tho I don't know why.It works pretty good live.).Gene spit blood & fire,Paul prances,Peter rises to the ceiling and Ace is in top form,just making us KISS fans all the more dissapointed in him for not sticking with the silver boots & greasepaint.
Also included on the dvd is the complete television appearence of KISS on the "Mike Douglas Show",thier first major television appearence.Here we witness an almost embarrasingly over-enthusiastic Gene $immons trying to make his mark in rock & roll.The band performs "Firehouse" raw & nasty,yet you can still see alot of the awkwardness that would later be smoothed out in the yearz to come.Funny stuff!Not yet perfect,KISS is seen as a black diamond in the rough.Now if they would only release footage from thier appearence on "The Paul Lynde Halloween Special".Makes a great KISSmas gift!
Ragz Rates It A:8.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:12 PM PST
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