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Wednesday, 28 July 2004
DOOM HOUSE
Mood:
 silly
I've been a fan of the website www.somethingawful.com for quite a while now but it waz a buddy of mine that introduced me to a little movie called "Doom House" that waz made by a coupla guyz from that website.
That same guy iz also responsible for me becoming addicted to cigarettes.Both will be bad for you're health,but they're both alot of fun regardless.
"Doom House"iz basically a home movie about a high strung guy who buyz a new house only to be haunted by a small figurine that keeps popping up,no matter how the guy triez to be rid of it.There's a much better review of it on the Something Awful website,and it's also there where you lucky bastardz get to download it in it's all glorifying full length-heck-go here-http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1665
and turn out the lights,pop some popcorn and lsd and just see for yourself all the madness.
It's a hoot-the bad acting,the bad editing,the bad continuity-everything that makez a good movie.
Damn,how I wish we had the internet and all the computer movie making toolz at our desposal in the early 80's when that self same friend that got me hooked on coffin nails and I were in a small yet creative lil' comedy troupe called Belco.
"Doom House"would've been the kinda crap we woulda made.
Except one of us would've been dressed az a chick.
Ragz Rates It A:8.25
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:24 AM PDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:25 AM PDT
Wednesday, 16 June 2004
GENE SIMMONS-"ASSHOLE"
Mood:
 d'oh
 So,it's finally here.After 26 some yearz,Gene Simmons haz gotten around to creatin' some new musik.Haz it been worth the wait?Are KISS fanz(like me ya'll know)finally gettin' some new rawk n' rawl anthemz to bludgeon our hip hop neighbors and teeny bop nieces with?Has that Yosimite Sam voice of the God Of Thunder been pummeled thru our beat-up stereo speakerz again?
More than likely,and this iz coming from a General in The KISS Army,you'll be shaking your head and wondering why he feelz the need to do stuff like this.When,oh when,will The Bat Lizard learn that all we want iz for him to do the only thing he iz good at-being the blood drooling,fire breathing,Godzilla boot wearin' bass player for KISS.Tho we are all suckered into it(us KISS fanatics that iz),we really don't need the KISS condoms,Tongue Magazine,Velvet Ragnar movie rolls and KISS coffins.We just want Gene to slap on the bat wingz,stick out hiz tongue and scream that almighty scream from his finest moment "Deuce".Sebastian Bach,on a recent VH1 show said it best,"we've gotten all the comics,action figures,coffins,cars n' everything else,but what KISS fans really want IS A NEW KISS ALBUM!".Very true.
Guess Chaim wantz to spread his leather wingz a bit and try something different.Fine,should be interesting.Let's see what he's got.
First off,the cover.Genie lookz cool,I gotta admit,dressed all dapper like a member of The Hives,surrounded by a gaggle of hot women.It's what ya'd expect.Like the album title too.The word "Asshole"has become the male version of impowerment to the female "Bitch".
But,the logo lookz like some hip hop thing,and if you've been unfortunate enuff to see the video for Gene's cover of The Prodigys' "Firestarter",his obvious pandering to the bling bling worshipers iz just embarrasing.The song is basically a karaoke version,not much different than the original 'cept Simmons iz singin' it.And I can't tell if Gene in the video wants to be David Lee Roth or Zsa Zsa Gabor or Huggy Bear.Ugh.
The title track "Asshole"iz also pretty dang stinky.The lyrics,something like "you think I'm a creep/you look like a sheep"just really hurt.It hurt bad.
And there's alot of sap on this record too.KISS fans know that Gene iz a huge Beatles fan,and like his first solo album,alot of that comez thru,which really izn't a bad thing,but what the heck waz he thinking doing some kinda Hawaiian flavored type plinka plinka casio Jimmy Buffet type song to close the cd with?God,Gene,you're the master of making people want more,so what happened?After all these yearz this iz the best ya got?"1,000 Dreams"shoulda stayed on the shelf.David Lee Roth can pull it off cuz he's a California beach bum,but not the DEMON from New York!
But it'z not all hopeless,there iz actually a few killer rockers here."Sweet & Dirty Love","Weapons Of Mass Destruction","Dog"and "Carnival Of Souls"are what ya want from Simmons.Heavy thumpin' bass lines(that do sound freekin' great!),real drums and guitarz,ya wish he'd write stuff like this for KISS!And,"Waiting For The Morning Light",co-written with Bob Dylan,iz kinda neat,tho it soundz quite alot like "We Are One"from KISS' "Psycho Circus",but I loved that song so I it's almost an extention of it.
"Black Tongue",which has samples and waz co-written by Frank Zappa iz alright too.But do these songz save "Asshole?".
Just barely.But I'm warning you-only must have die hard KISS fanz need to buy it,cuz everyone else will just cringe up in the fetal position and scream for him to make it stop.
Still got the Paul Stanley solo album to look forward to,where I hear he's writting with Diane Warren and the likes,but ya kinda expect that from Paul.
How much ya wanna bet it blowz this cd out of the racks and into the bargain bins?
Now,Gene,quit all that other crap,pick up that bass and fucking kick my ass and write some new KISS songs.
Leave the bling bling at home.
Ragz Rates It A:5.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:54 PM PDT
Tuesday, 25 May 2004
SWITCHBLADE SYMPHONY-
Mood:
 caffeinated
In the same way that Goths look at the Hot Topic stores iz the same way I percieve Goth.They're embarrased to say that they actually LIKE the store.And,for me,I confess,I LIKE Goth music.Most likely for me tho,iz cuz everybody dresses like it's Halloween all year long and they worship the same idols az I-Bela Lugosi,Boris Karloff,Tim Burton & Vincent Price.
Swicthblade Sisters,a band consisting of two gothed out chickies warbling like tortured witches iz one of the big bands in the Goth scene.Kinda like what Rush iz to classic rock.Everybody has a record by them but they don't necissarily like 'em.
I don't despize them,in fact I kinda dig thier toonz,even tho they all use the same drum beat and the same vocal patterns on every synthesized Wiccan inspired ditty.Most of the time,I gather,one of the two spooky girls takes the lead singer position,but my fave iz when they both sing together,cuz they then sound like those tiny twins in the Godzilla moviez that sings "Moth-O-Rah!"to awaken tha giant moth from slumber.
And speaking of Godzilla,I truly believe Blue Oyster Cult iz THEE Original Gothic Band.They alwayz sang about nosferatus,Joan Crawford and death.I think it's high time the kidz realize this.BOC!!Yeah!And they even wrote a song about Godzilla!So,I guess BOC would be The Godzilla Of Goth and Switchblade Symphony would be the Mothra of Goth!Yep-I figured it all out for ya.
But back to the cd.It's a "live"one,course it sounds like they're playing for about 10 teenage girls with dreams of thier first lesbian kiss and they're all excited cuz after the show they get to pick out what they're gonna wear to the midnight Pagan Ritual behind Grandma's house in the woods.
But the band sounds good,it's pretty easy stuff.Turn on the drum machine,get a guy to blow The Munsters Theme on the sax and do that wierd Stevie Nicks dance in front of a strobe light and ya gots a gothic dance party.Course the moody gothiness iz all ruined when the Switchblade Sisters chirp "thank you" like Betty Boops hopped up on helium in between the songs.Ugh.Way too cutesy n'sugery for me.And here I spent hourz drawing a bloody pentagram on my rug,lit all my black candles and dug out The H.R.Giger Necronomicon for nuthin'.
Now where did I put my copy of "Cultasaurus Erectus?".
Ragz Rates It A:5.69
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:24 PM PDT
Updated: Tuesday, 25 May 2004 9:27 PM PDT
Wednesday, 12 May 2004
VAN HELSING
Mood:
 happy
 Just got back from seeing "Van Helsing".I know alot of people are gonna hate this movie,and I waz a little skeptical at first-messing with all my Universal Horror Iconz,but really it payz alot of homage to the classics.Sure,there'z a bazillion CGI monsterz running,flying and scurrying about,but it'z alot of fun.And I love the three Dracula brides,they're sexy wicked!
The dialogue iz way over the top,az iz the accents,but in grand Universal Horror style.It's almost az if Colin Clive,Bela Lugosi & Dwight Frye trained the actors themselves on how to do it right.Kate Beckinsale iz back az an ass kicking vampire killer,basically playing the same role az she did in "Underworld",but I have no complainz about that.Hugh Jackman might az well be in his X-Men leatherz,cuz it's the same character-doesn't remember his past,scans the area for baddies with his senses and even unleashes some clawz of his own when he turnz into a were-wolverine.
It'z a comic book movie all the way-unbelievable action,over the top stunts and cool costumes make it a feast for the eyez.
And any movie that reprises the classic line from "The Wolfman"-"Even a man who is pure at heart and says his prayers by night,may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon shines bright" getz a thumbz up.
Pinhead,Freddie,Jason and all the later day horror icons still have nothing on the unholy trinity that iz The Frankenstein Monster,Dracula & The Wolfman.
I can see it now-"Van Helsing 2"-where he takes on The Invisible Man,The Creature From The Black Lagoon and the mole people from "The Time Machine".
Reserve me a ticket!
Oh,and I really dig The Frankenstein Monsters glowing electrical brain!
Ragz Rates It A:7.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 10:25 PM PDT
Wednesday, 21 April 2004
FASTER PUSSYCAT "GREATEST HITS"
Mood:
 cheeky
Ya can't go wrong with this!Rhino Entertainment haz put out a whole series of inexpensive cd collections called "Flashbacks",which include cd's by Tisted Sister,Devo,Dokken and more,but of course,the neatest iz this collection of cat scratch feverish glam rawk iz the most vicious and sleazy!Oh yeah!All thier best iz here,including out of print classics such az "Nonstop To Nowhere"and thier infamous cover of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain".They also include my fave,the ode to whips,chains and black vinyl s&m gear-"Where There's A Whip There's A Way".Of course there's alwayz something that'z gotta spoil the party-such az the censored lyrics of "Cathouse"but for six bux who'z gonna bitch?
It's a great idea for a series of discs,something to draw & corrupt the younginz,refresh the mindz of the oldies,and perhaps,just perhaps,inspire the masses to demand a proper album from The Pussycat.
Taime?Brent?Guyz?
I need some new pussy!!
Ragz Rates It A:9.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:40 PM PDT
L.A. GUNS @TAILSPIN 4/17/04
Mood:
caffeinated
It waz a packed house at Tailspin,a small bar in Las Vegas,filled wall to wall with longhairz & Kelly Bundys.A trip back to a better time when hair waz big and pants were tight,an morals were loose.Course all of us are in our late 30's & 40's now,but scattered amongts the crowd were twenty-somethingz,there to get a glimps of one of the 80's sleaziest bandz-L.A.Guns.
After a rousing opening set by Las Vegas band-The Underground Rebels(formerly known az Jet,Taste,The Limey Bar Stewards & The Loving Dead)the crowd waz growing impatient waiting for the Guns to rip and tear us apart.Amongst the crowd waz Jizzy Pearl(Love/Hate,Ratt,Suki Jones etc.etc.etc)And motormouth Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot,making thier precence known,hoping to grab a little of the cock rock girlies in the mass of hair & leather jackets.
The Guns finally hit the small stage in a flury of noise,treating us with thier classics,layin' down some groovy covers and slammin' us with the more recent toonz.Phil Lewis still haz that cool voice,and tho the Las Vegas crowdz are alwayz kinda reserved and laid back,he did his best to to rile up the gang.The only other original member of the band waz drummer Steve Riley,who kept those nifty signiture LA Guns beats goin',while new guitarist Stacey Blades(he he-get it?)did a find job filling Tracii Guns leather boots.
Soon,they'll have a new album out of covers,which they played alot of and which sound really good and still stamped with that unique sound.Looking forward to it.
I alwayz like these Hollywood Vampires,one of the few that stood out for me,with thier sleazy black leather motive and jet black hair.
But without Tracii-thier namesake-shouldn't they now be called L.A.Blades?
Tracii will be back,how much ya wanna bet,az soon az Nikki steps back into Motley Crue and out of The Brides Of Destruction.
With L.A.Guns,itz,oh baby-never enough!!
Ragz Rates It A:7.25
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:17 PM PDT
Thursday, 15 April 2004
WILD ZERO
Mood:
 loud
Now Playing: "You must believe in rock and roll!"
If any band in the world could save rock & roll it's Guitar Wolf.They are the loudest,coolest and baddest band of muthas in the world.In "Wild Zero",Guitar Wolf proves it.
They battle Zombies,Aliens,Evil club owners and non-believers without even breaking a sweat.
"Wild Zero",a Japanese rock n' roll action packed monster of a b-movie iz everything you'd ever want or need in a movie.It's funny,gory,rockin' and just plain inspiring.Yes kiddies,there still is real rock n' roll out there!
There's very little plot here.A young rocker kid by the name of Ace,worships Guitar Wolf(the band),falls in love with a pretty girl,gets attacked by zombies and is taught that all you really need is to believe in rock and roll to survive.
Mix "Return Of The Living Dead" with "Mars Attacks",toss in a little leather n' black sunglasses,turn the volume way up and you get "Wild Zero".
This movie needz to be shown to about 95% of the new bands out there so they know just how much they suck.Korn,Nickelback,Limp Bizkit,you name 'em,would hang up thier guitarz in a second cause they don't even come close to this band and how hard they rock.
Plus,Guitar Wolf,the guitarist,has the coolest guitar/samuari sword in the world.
This rocked my lame ass big time!
Ragz Rates It A;10.00
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:33 PM PDT
Thursday, 8 April 2004
SHAKIRA:LIVE OFF THE RECORD
Mood:
cheeky
She plays the guitar!
She showz animal snuff filmz!
She talks politics!
She playz the drums!
She's Shakira!Live!On a dvd!
Her music iz all over the place-from dancey Middle Eastern inspired numbers,to rock,to techno-diva,and of course-passionate Latin cha cha cha,the modern day Charo doez it all.The music's ok,tho her version of AC/DC's "Back In Black"iz pretty dreadful & weak,and she really doesn't have a very powerful voice but when it comez down to it that's not why I'm watching this dvd.
It's those hips man!
She's a glorified bellydancer.
And I ain't complainin' none!
Plus,ya just know that Shakira iz dying to really rock out.
If she woulda came out in the 80's she would've gave Lee Aaron a run for the Metal Queen title.
Someone please,let her do the rock,teach her how to scream then she would be perfect!
Az long as she doesn't get political,Yeesh.
Keep her off the drumz too.
And just show close up of "those Hips!"on the big screens instead of scenes from "Make Them Die Slowly"and she could rule the world.
Bow to the new Metal Queen!
Ragz Rates It A:5 for music,10 for the bellydancing!
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:39 AM PDT
BATMAN:DEAD END!
Mood:
 special
I didn't know this thing existed til I went to the Wizard World Convention in L.A. a few weeks ago.It waz runnin' on every dealers' tv's.It caught my eye and I asked what it waz.One of the dealers said it waz a short film made by some guy who waz trying to pitch it to a major film company and they turned him down.
So,it'z slapped on various websites and becomez a fanboyz dream come true.
What we have here,to make it brief,cuz the film iz only about 8 minutes long,iz an action packed fight fest with perhaps THE best visualization of Batman ever.He's stocky,grim and wearin' the old grey & blue tights.No rubber nipples here.
First he takes on a wildy insane Joker,then gets jumped by one of those black slimey Xenomorphs' from the Alien series,only to end up coming face to reggae face himself-The Predator.
It all endz up just makin' you wanting more.It looks incredible!
Someone give this guy a movie!
Granted,we really have no idea if he can handle a plot,but he definatly captured Bruce Wayne's gritty alter ego perfectly.
Get your handz on this.Before Hollywood gets ahold of it and puts the nipples back in.
Ragz Rates It A:8.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:18 AM PDT
Monday, 5 April 2004
THE LIVING END/JET & THE VINES @ HARD ROCK,LAS VEGAS
Mood:
cheeky
Why iz it that everytime I go to a show I'm dead tired?Seemz like I never get enuff sleep the night before,so goin' to a show iz kind of a big deal for me,and unless the bands are really good and wake me up I spend most of the show waiting for it to end.
Well,last nights' show at The Joint in the Hard Rock hotel waz another challenge for me to make it thru.I waz pooped,got out of work,lost an hour of sleep due to the daylight savingz time demon,and my dogz were tired.
I pretty much missed the opening act Neon.From what I did see it looked like one of those droning noise maker type bandz.You know the ones that don't bother to even try to make music with any pop sense-ability.Hold on to that one note and just let it ring kinda bandz.
After downing a tasty beer and mingling about The Living End hit the stage.From the moment they charged into thier rock-a-punk-o-billie jo armstrong laden toonage they owned the stage.The guitarist,sportin' one of those hollow body Ted Nugenty geeetarz ripped the frets like nobody's business.Like The Stray Cats genespliced with Social Distorton.They impressed me much,not really knowin' much about them they gave me a much needed surprise and an energy boost.Thumbz Up!
Another beer down and startin' to feel the effects,Jet sauntered onstage with that "bitch" song,but it took them three or four songz to finally get the crowd goin'.Somehow,the band I came to see and expected them to garage rock my ass off just couldn't follow up The Living End."Are You Gonna Be My Girl" upped the ante and almost made it,with it's groovy beat and audience singalong,but it all else became a jumbled mess and lost it's momentum,tho Jet tried hard they just couldn't take off.
By this point I waz done with the beer and just downing a straight coke.The tiredness waz kicking in again and when The Vines finally came out with thier blinding lights burning into my bloodshot eyes,I waz done.Tho interesting for about 5 minutes,the Vines get boring really fast with it's wailing off key vocals and sloppy guitar work.The band looked like they were lost trying to keep up with the singers contrived "I'm crazy and look at my craziness"yelpfest.Sure,I give props to any band that trashes thier instruments by the end of the show but even I want something I can hum along too inbetween the feedback and cymbal crashes.Not very impressed.I think the singer iz on The Dope.
Winner of the evening:The Living End!
Ragz Rates The Living End:8.0
Ragz Rates Jet:6.5
Ragz Rates The Vines:3.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 9:03 PM PDT
Thursday, 1 April 2004
DAWN OF THE DEAD(2004)
Mood:
 smelly
Every website n' horror mag n' critic haz already feasted(iz that a real word?)on this movie.So anything I have to say iz probably redundant.
But I still gots ta put my two centz in.
First off-enuff with the remakez fer christ's sake,there'z tonz o writerz out there with great ideas that Hollyood just won't take a chance on.
But...if they HAVE to do a remake,better to follow this movie az an example on how to do it right.Better to rip off the masters I guess.It's the same approach I took when listening to alot of 80's metal.Better that Bulletboys were ripping off classic Van Halen than Jackson Browne.
But I'm roaming way off track...sorry.
This iz how I look at it...
When going into the theater to see "a re-imagining"of a classic film,think of it az an event that iz happening sometime around the same time/and or place az the original.Fer example,when Tim Burton tackled "Planet Of The Apes"I percieved it az the planet being the same planet that Charlton Heston landed on,but in a different part of the planet-say Washington instead of New York,and mayhaps at a different time period too just to play it safe.That way it's not directly a sequel,but another story that takes place.Make sense?
So that's what I did with the new "Dawn Of The Dead."Yeah,I know,it doesn't take place in the early 80's,but let's face it,there'z a million stories that can be told about various people around the world and how they dealt with the dead rising.
Better yet,pretend it's the American point of view when "28 Days Later"happened,cuz it actually haz more in common with that flick than the original George Romero classic.
Cuz theze zombies ARE VICIOUS!!
They may still be dumb az a rock but boy can they move!I wouldn't last a second in this movie,with my nicotine encased lungz I'd be past out long before a dead thing started chompin' on my neck!
It's pretty darn impressive.And any movie that starts with Johnny Cash's "When The Man Comes Around' and endz with Jim Carroll's "All The People Who Died" haz got to be good!
In fact the first 10 minutes of this movie rocks harder than any American horror film haz since az long az I can remember.It's what I wanted "Independance Day"to be before it turned into a military recruitment film.
And it doesn't skimp on the blood n' guts and just plain discustingness either.No wimpin' out here!
Horror fanz are screaming nothing but praize for this movie,and deservidly so.It'z a zombie fun fest to the extreme.
I just wondered why the survivors in the movie didn't try using the internet to communicate with the outside world.
Hmmmm....maybe it did take place in the early 80's...
yep-
we've got a twitcher here!
Ragz Ratez It A:9.5
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:30 AM PST
Monday, 8 March 2004
VH1CLASSICS:METAL MANIA
Mood:
 party time!
I can't go without posting praise to VH1 for bringing back the 80's Rawk in all it's flash n' grand cheesiness!
"Metal Mania",the bastard child of "Headbangers Ball",flickerz across the screen all those great big haired,leather spiked n' spandexed,eyeliner n' Aqua Netted heroez of yesteryear.Oh yeah!When rockstars had fun being rockstars and didn't give a shit about saving the rainforests or such nonsense.Nope,it waz all about the most wasted ya could get and the most tail tail ya could get.
What really rulez about "Metal Mania"isz that it'z so much more than Motley Crues "Girls Girls Girls"or Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It".They've dug deep into the hallowed underground of Flash Metal.Oh yeah,it's not rare to see Vains' "Who's Watchin' You" or,my ultimate fave-EZO's "Flashback Heart Attack"!I've even seen videos I didn't even know existed by such groups az Rock City Angels & The Sea Hags!!
Someone haz dug into my closet of old videotapes and broadcasted it on the boob toob.
And there's no shortage of boobs in theze vidz.
See the people responsible for creating the hole in the ozone layer,turn it up and get it on!!
Schlock N'Roll iz back baby!!
Ragz Rates It A:10
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 10:51 PM PST
Tuesday, 24 February 2004
HORRORPOPS "HELL YEAH"
Man,the cover has a girl all gothed out with an awesome stand up bass.I recon it's gotta be good,had to snap it up mighty quickly!ohhh,can't wait to hear it,I JUST KNOW IT"S GONNA ROCK!
Well,ROCK may be the wrong word for it.
POP,fits it it more like it,POP in that polished up contrived mixture that's sure to appeal to tha girls.
Imagine if No Doubt was influenced by polished rockabilly instead of ska and they had a passing fascination with cheapee b-movie moviez,and you gets Horrorpops.(Sounds like a sweet breakfast cereal ala Freekies!).
Tha stand up bass DOES sound cool,the toonz are catchy,but with titles like "Girl In A Cage" &Psychobitches Outta Hell" I reckon there's be SOME rawness,some good ol' giant gila monster fuzz n' badoomp ba doomp.But,nope,POPS is correct I guess,BUT WHERE'S THE HORROR?Where's the nasty 50 Foot Woman vocals,the kinda stuff ya buy all those Something Wierd vidoes for?
Well,it ain't here daddio.
Not that it's all bad,but with a name like Horrorpops I waz expectin' some ghoulishness to go with the sideburns and ducktails.
Oh well,
hey!Wattevva happened to Monster Zero anywayz?
Ragz Rates It A:5.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 3:13 AM PST
Tuesday, 3 February 2004
JUON:THE GRUDGE
I'm convinced!The Japanese make the creepiest,scariest horror films in this day & age.All the poop the U.S. has been coming out with nowhere compares to the shriekfests that Japan has been turning out.Once again my praises of "The Ring" echoes thru this blog."Audition"will stick with ya forever.And now I've finally got to see another horror masterpiece.
"Juon:The Grudge"
Juon is a curse that centers around a house that is tremendously haunted.What makes this Haunted House different from others tho,is that the horror doesn't just stay home,nope,it makes contact with people,kills some and follows others to the outside world,spreading from one person to another,almost like a virus.
"Juon"is also kind of an anthology style horror flick,but also different than the "Tales Of The Crypt"type stories.
The movie takes us along on the journey of six unlucky people who have all come in contact with "the Curse".We get to feel the terror they all go thru,and boy will it make ya jump.
Like most of my reviews I don't like to give anything away,but I can't recomend this flick enough.If you thing "Ringu" or "The Ring"was scarey then "Juon"will definatley thrill your chills!
The thing that really interests me is that both "The Ring" & "Juon"started out as a tv series in Japan.I gotta check those out too,cuz I can't imagine American television even coming near to this much fright fun.The closest thing I can thing of was "Twin Peaks",but tho it had it's creepy moments,pure horror is never part of our tv line up of weekly shows(unless you count reality tv shows which all make me wanna crawl under the covers).
Luckily they don't follow you under them...
tho Juon does.
Don't close your eyes....
Ragz Rates It a:10.00
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 8:49 PM PST
Thursday, 29 January 2004
GILBY CLARKE'S BLUES MAFIA @PALMS CASINO-LAS VEGAS
Mood:
 vegas lucky
The lucky thing about livin' in Las Vegas iz that I gets to see alot of concerts,from big major acts too new upcoming ones.Las Vegas is also where rockstarz go to die.Vince Neil,Kevin Dubrow and Steven Adler all live out here.But that's one of my fave thingz about Vegas iz I can see my fave 80's artists perform,usually with a revamped line-up and in front of a lot less people than what they performed to in the 80's.But it's here where you get to witness the REAL DEAL's and the WASHED UPS.
Gilby Clarke,former guitarist for Candy,Guns N' Roses and Kill For Thrills playz out here alot.It's not a rare thing to see him at least 4 times a year.And the thing with Gilby is it's always a great show.Always.If you need to see the real deal than he's all you need.He knowz the Rawk N'Rawl.Inside n' out.
This time-playing in a small lounge called The Palapa Lounge inside the Palms Casino.he took his rawkshow in a different direction this night.Gilby Clarke's Blues Mafia consists of Eric Singer(Alice Cooper/KISS/Badlands),Teddy ZigZag(Guns N'Roses/Alice Cooper),Stefan Adika(Dad's Porno Mag,Dee Dee Ramone)and Gilby,dressed in nice black suits with white ties,they fed us some much needed bloozy rawk,doing all the classic blooze toons.Then when the show heated up they started diggin' up the Rawk classix-"KISS'"Nothin' To Lose",a few Rolling Stones toons,a few Alice Cooper toons,Iggys'"I Wanna Be Your Dog" and everything else under the sun.In between the toons the guys bantered about with each other in that ol' politically incorrect jibes n' jabs ala The Rat Pack.They were hilarious.Somehow I can see the guys getting a regular gig here,like Sinatra,Martin & Davis Jr. did at The Sands.It's time Vegas gets a new Rat Pack,and instead of the many impersonators and tribute shows that flood this city it's good to see the REAL DEAL.
It's damn time The Mafia takes over Vegas again.
Ragz Rates It A:10
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 12:49 AM PST
Updated: Thursday, 29 January 2004 1:15 AM PST
Thursday, 22 January 2004
AUDITION
Mood:
 flirty
Love iz a many splendored thing,or in the case of this movie-a many splintered thing.
Yowzah.
This movie will make ya squirm more than being forced to listen to a Clay Aikens cd for hours.
"Audition"iz one of those precautionary talez about love & dating in the modern world.Ya just never know what yer gonna get til it's too late.
It's a cross between "Fatal Attraction","Misery" & "He Said,She Said'but so much better than all three of those flickiez all together.
It all starts out az a nifty idea-holding a casting call for a non-existant movie so the main character can meet chicks-which coulda made a great teen/party flick premise also,turns into a grueling test of ones faith in the female species.They are the most dangerous ones y'know!
Course she's a complete babe and what straight guy wouldn't fall for such an innocent looking babe,but az soon az she slips on the vinyl and gets to business,she may call it love but you're sure to call it a nightmare.
It's a must see in the Japanese Horror Genre-a classic that will stick with ya like Acupuncture Needles for dayz after seein' it.
Man,the Japanese know how to make some twisted films.
Just ya bet that some bigwig in Hollywood's gonna end up making an American version of it.
See it before Hollywood ruins it!
Ragz Rates It A:9.0
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 10:27 PM PST
Sunday, 18 January 2004
THE BLACK JETTS "BLEED ME"
Mood:
vegas lucky
I don't know how the music scene has been anywhere else,but here in Las Vegas it's been pretty abysmal for the most part.That iz until recently.The past few yearz haz actually spawned some interesting bandz in the area-bandz that finally aren't afraid to RAWK!
And leading the way iz Las Vegas's very own-The Black Jetts.
Having caught them live ya get the feeling that Vegas iz getting that much needed kick in the ass,a monsterous rebel of a band,usually caught at The Double Down,a small stinky and smokey dive just a hop and a skip from The Hard Rock.
They've finally slammed down some grooves onto a disc and released the houndz with "Bleed Me",a garage rawk jitterbug o' sonic induced madness.
The truth iz I waz being told a year or so ago how I haveta see this band and that I would really dig 'em.I kept getting a description of the boyz az a Iggy & The Stooges torchbearerz,and tho there iz that indeedy in the musik,there's also some good ol' sixties type feeling buried under the wall of destruction.Don't know why but I keep getting images of Z-Man from "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls"when I turn this disc up."It's my happening and it freaks me out!".
Oddly enuff,I came in contact with The Jetts when thier bassist Danny got a job working along side The Ragzter peddlin' crappy hip hoppity & Nuuuuu-Metal poop to the kiddies.We shared a common place between the speakers,listenin' to Roxy Erickson & The Return Of The Living Dead soundtrack in equal appreciation.Here iz a kid that understands The Rawk!We shared storiez of the misadventures of our bandz,traded info on the good new stuff and I saw the young stars in his eyes that I useta have before I became bitter and lazy.It'z good to know someone out there iz spreadin' the Rawk Gospel again.
Well,one night,after being fed up with the job routine and the chains of restriction it imposes on ya,Danny finally decided to quit and follow his heart.Right before he walked out the door he said "Sorry man,but I gotta rock".
I gotta rock.
Yep,the kid's got it and the kid's gonna be alright.Somehow I think he made the right choice.
You gotta rock?Take a ride with The Black Jetts.
Do it for you.
Do it for The Rawk.
Do it for Danny.
Ragz Rates It A:7.85
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 2:44 AM PST
Friday, 16 January 2004
AGENT X #1
Mood:
silly
Marvel Comics has taken the letter "X" and pretty much has made a whole new comic book universe from it.
It started with The X-Men.
Then came along X-Force,X-Factor,X-Man,Xcalibur,Xtreme X-Men,X-cetera,X-cetera,X-Cetera.
And I've been a sucker for all of them.I'm an "X" junkie,ever since I picked up that Giant Size X-Men #1 many,many yearz ago in a Marvel Universe far far away.
Yet,I've learned tha hard way that many of them are duds(Kitty Pryde-Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D comes to mind).But "Agent X" iz pretty darn entertaining.
Here's the official Marvel blurb-"Mathematically,the letter "X" stands for an unknown or variable quantity.But in the dangerous world of the modern-day gun-for-hire,it stands for Alex Hayden,the man with no past.Uninterested in the mystery of his own beginnings,Agent X is determined to take his position as the world's most deadliest,and highest paid mercenary."
The story involves Agent X trying to kill off a former superhero so his girlfriend doesn't get offed by the former superheroes ex-wife.The only problem,this once upon a time superdood-who went by the name of Fight Man,is invulnerable to pain and destruction,tho Fight Man,who's pretty done with living,let's Agent X attempt to murder him.They try everything-smashing a car into him,bathing him in a tub of acid,electriction and everything else under the sun.But they have no luck.
Agent X is a fun read,but I've gotta wonder why they went thru all the trouble to create this new Agent X character cuz in almost every way possible he's the same character as another Marvel mercenary by the name of Deadpool.Same powers,same ugly mug,same sense of humor.
Oh hell,what's another "X"character gonna hurt?
Only my wallet.
Ragz Rates It A:7.75
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 11:57 PM PST
Saturday, 3 January 2004
THE BANGLES LIVE @ THE HOUSE OF BLUES-LAS VEGAS
Mood:
 amorous
Everytime The Bangles have come to town I've missed them.Alwayz something comez up.But finally the starz lined up just right and last night I finally got to catch the Fem Fab Four live at The House Of Blues.
First off the show waz opened by four guys who call themself Ponder.Sorry,but I just don't understand normal joes who pick up guitars and think they can rock.It's not how it's to be in my lil' twisted mind.Ya gotta have something,mainly the key is that good rockers are usually made up of outcasts,people that don't quite fit into the everyday run of the mill segmant of humanity.Mayhaps a missing chromozone,or a funny lisp,or even,skinny guys who can't in no way or how get laid til they put on a Gibson Les Paul.Ponder is just so damn normal they're completely boring.They look like part time car mechanics who watch way too much ESPN and listen to too many Springsteen,Mellencamp & Seger records.Yuk.Not one offensive lick,not one feedbacking guitar nor a ugly sucker in the bunch.They can never be rockstars cuz they don't know what it's like to be ragged on,beaten up by jocks,or drink anything harder than a St.Paulie Girl.Heck,I'm just bettin' they were the ones pickin' on the guys in high school that had an earring.Yuk.They sucked.Tho the girls liked 'em.Girls have no taste.
Except if you're The Bangles.Ok,you could probably say the same about The Bangles az I did with Ponder,but if ya look past the fact that the four hot ladies haven't aged a single bit since the 80's and play hummable dance along non-offensive rock there's still something more there.Let's face it,how many chicks do you know base thier whole musical foundation on 60's pop rock.You'll hear The Byrds,The Beatles,Alex Chilton & get visions of matchstick men jingle janglin' thru thier 80's sensebilities.When most girls pick up an instrument and try to be rockers they either go the Joan Jett I'm tuff as fingernails and don't touch me there or the I'm a hippy Edie Brickell who only sings in college cafe's kinda girl.The Bangles do stand out cuz they've got that 60's sound that no other girl group has come close to.
Most of the setlist consisted of new songs off of thier recent cd "Doll Revolution",which come off so much better live than on the album.The cd sounded too restrained for me,but live it all makes much more sense.Tho they did throw in my least fave of the new album "Single By Choice"who's lyrics make me cringe but that's probably cuz I'm a guy and don't understand.
Of course all the hits were there.Thier harmonies were amazingly perfect.That's a hard thing to pull off live when ya got guys hooten an' hollerin' at them and monitors feedbacking,but they hit the notes dead on.
Of course the guys go to see the hottie Susanna Hoffs,tiny little thing with here little skirt.But the rest were just as hot in thier own way,especially bassist Michael Steele with her gothic/punkier fashion sense.But again this is the icing on a very sweet n' delicious cake.
Makes ya wanna pick up a 12 string and write some real songs.
Ragz Rates Ponder:3.0
Ragz Rates The Bangles:8.25
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 1:14 PM PST
Thursday, 1 January 2004
"THE KILLER EYE" & "FLESH FOR THE BEAST"
Mood:
cheeky
Two moviez that make a perfect double bill o' hooters n' crap!Imagine if the writers of Penthouse Forum Letters where given a crappy camcorder & made moviez.Then you would basically get these two movies.
"The Killer Eye" is,well,about a killer eye that pops out of another dimension from a teenage boy prostitute and goes on the loose feeling up women and giving them the sexual experience of thier life.All the while the nerdy mad scientist that would rather play with his killer eye than with his hottie of a wife chases down the one eyed wonder worm with his fellow cast of bad actors.We also have to suffer thru two male characters that sit around in thier underwear and keep reminding us how stoned they are.Ok,sure this may all sound like a madcap blast of a b-movie but it's not.Very little worth seeing here,yet still better than a sharp stick in the eye.Not much tho.
"Flesh For The Beast"isn't much better but at least it tries to be.An eccentric rich guy hires a group of ghostbusters to help him calm the crazy ghosts that spooks around in his mansion.Why I don't understand cuz the ghosts are a trio of slutty chickies who strip naked,get ya off then slit your throat.Sounds like a date to me.But we soon learn there is more tho the millionaire than we originally thought.Tries to be scary but isn't,tries to be sexy and it really isn't that either.Shoulda just made it a porno flick and throw away the chincey plot.
Saves on the fast forward time and frees up the hands.
Ragz Rates "The Killer Eye" A:5
Ragz Rates "Flesh For The Beast"A:6
Posted by ragzdandelion
at 8:42 PM PST
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